"Every government interference in the economy consists of giving an unearned benefit, extorted by force, to some men at the expense of others."

"One of the methods used by statists to destroy capitalism consists in establishing controls that tie a given industry hand and foot, making it unable to solve its problems, then declaring that freedom has failed and stronger controls are necessary."

Ayn Rand

Rand put it best in her 1973 article, “Censorship: Local and Express”:

“The conservatives see man as a body freely roaming the earth, building sand piles or factories -- with an electronic computer inside his skull, controlled from Washington . The liberals [the Democrats] see man as a soul freewheeling to the farthest reaches of the universe -- but wearing chains from nose to toes when he crosses the street to buy a loaf of bread.”

Further on, she notes:
“…Each camp wants to control the realm it regards as metaphysically important; each grants freedom only to the activities it despises….. ‘Control,‘ to both camps, means the power to rule by physical force. The conservatives want to rule man’s consciousness; the liberals, his body.”

Thursday, March 26, 2009

Two New Elements

A Lawrence Livermore Laboratories has discovered the heaviest element yet known to science. It has no known use or benefit.

The new element, Governmentium (Gv), has one neutron, 25 assistant neutrons, 88 deputy neutrons, and 198 assistant deputy neutrons, and 75 outside-contractor neutrons, giving it an anatomic mass of 387. These 387 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons.

Since Governmentium has no electrons, it is inert; however, it can be detected because it impedes every reaction with which it comes into contact. A tiny amount of Governmentium can cause a reaction that would normally take less than a second to take 4 years to complete.

Governmentium has a normal half-life of 2-6 years. It does not decay, but instead undergoes a reorganization in which a portion of the assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places. In fact, Governmentium's mass will actually increase over time, since each reorganization will cause more morons to become neutrons, forming isodopes. This characteristic of moron promotion leads some scientists to believe that Governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a critical concentration. This hypothetical quantity is referred to as critical morass.

When catalysed with money, Governmentium becomes Administratium, an element that radiates just as much energy as Governmentium, since it has half as many peons, but twice as many morons.

Of course Governmentium isn't new, only its discovery is new. The element has been around since ancient Greece.

But there is a new element that was created in a laboratory in 2004, Obamamite. It consists of a near-vacuum, containing only moron particles at its core. It grows in size by sucking in any moron within the sound of the nonsense emitted from it. It's life span is unknown at this time, but it is postulated that either one of two things will happen within 4 years: 1) the Obamamite will implode taking all its morons with it; or 2) it will explode destroying freedom and civilization everywhere.

Hey, I just made this up! There could never be such a thing. Right?
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